Maureen Evelyn’s life changed forever when he applied to Harvard.
That’s not because she came in. Her goal was actually the opposite – she wanted to be rejected to build confidence.
“When I was in high school, I was always afraid of failing,” says Evelyn, now 21. “I’ve always been trying to be perfect, so that fear makes me feel like I’m not confident. And then I say, ‘OK, this needs to be stopped. I want to build confidence.’ So I’m not going to do anything. “Let’s say no and realize there’s no physical pain.” “
And what is the more surest way to get told no other than applying to Harvard, a school that accepts under 4% of applicants? What’s more, she thought the application would only take around three hours. What did she have to lose?
She applied as a joke, and the results shocked her.
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The long-awaited university for Evelyn, but for some morale-saving, it flips the switch in her mind. The fear of her rejection told her she had no chance and shouldn’t bother her. But there was a possibility on the other side of that fear.
Did she wonder what else was her fear of protecting her?
“It’s my brain that we’re holding ourselves back from these crazy opportunities. “If we’re on the waiting list at Harvard, I’ll say, ‘Oops, this might change your life. It was like that. “
Evelyn has since been on a mission to be rejected as much as possible, and she has not been alone. In Tiktok, people go viral, documenting their “rejection therapy” adventures. This is a form of exposure therapy that addresses overcoming the fear of rejection by hoping it will end in failure.
Evelyn vowed in rejection therapy and launched an app to help more people get rejected. It is called rejecto and essentially functions as a social media platform. Social media platforms allow users to share updates and support each other by pursuing rejections.
The outcome of rejection therapy can be astounding, she says.
“Rejection therapy” became a virus in Tiktok. What is really going on?
Rejection therapy has led some tictalkers to pull interesting stunts and mix them.
In the video, which has over 17 million views, a woman stands in front of a commercial airline cabin, wishing everyone a nice flight (some cheer a little in response). In another, the woman tells strangers it’s her birthday because she has 9.7 million likes (many people sing “Happy Birthday” to her). In another, with over 3 million views, the woman asks the construction worker if she can join the crane (they forgave her).
Stephanie Salkis, a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety and ADHD, says rejection therapy is nothing new — and it really works. More commonly, she says, it is used in cognitive behavioral therapy to help people sit with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. She says the goal is to adapt to discomfort, and therefore lose control of their lives. For example, she says that phobia is commonly treated like this.
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However, the difference between rejection therapy and traditional use in therapeutic settings for tiktok is that the latter is progressive and usually targets certain aspects of rejection that clients fear.
“You start once a week, go up to three times a week, and go up to every day of the week. You check in yourself and reflect on each and every time you do it,” says Sarkis.
In many rejection therapy videos, people get shocked if they don’t say “no.” In other instances, rejection therapy has led people to understand the reasons behind “no.”
After waiting at Harvard, Evelyn asked for more ways to get rejected. She says she had dinner with a stranger, was interviewed on TV and ended up posing for a photo shoot in a vintage car. She also submitted herself for representation in the honorable modeling institution.
The agency told her no as planned. But when Evelyn asked why, to her surprise, she received a polite email saying that she looked “too fantasy” for the ad campaign. Who knew that rejection was so free?
Would you like to try rejection therapy? Here are some tips
Sarkis says rejection therapy works best when it is done safely and intentionally. Do not place yourself in a dangerous situation in the name of rejection. Also, instead of trying to be rejected for something random, try focusing on being rejected in the field of your life that you are particularly afraid of.
For example, if the fear of rejection prevents you from retreating most strongly to your romance, ask someone or start a conversation with someone you find attractive. If that’s social, try saying hello to a stranger. If it’s a professional, apply for a job that you certainly think will take over.
“That should make sense. Obviously, we usually start low and rise, so we gradually get exposed,” says Sarkis. “It depends on your mental health condition.”
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Rejection therapy can be transformative when done strategically and healthy, Sarkis said. But she wants people to keep all that point in mind. The goal is to be rejected – don’t land a great opportunity by chance. Most people who try rejection therapy get told “no” despite the unusual “yes” moment being viral online.
Having a support system when a denial occurs can be important, Sarkis says. She also encourages people to remember that rejection always happens to everyone, and remembers that it is a normal part of life.
During the rejection therapy process, Evelyn said he was told “no.” Most memorable is that she was rejected by construction workers for asking her to use a jacka hammer (they said they weren’t wearing the right clothes for it). She also refused to ask restaurant employees if they could make their own bubble tea behind the counter (they gave her a gift card).
She says that actually doing these things was never the point. What made all the difference in the first place is the fact that she is brave enough to ask in the first place.
“Now, I’m 21, and I’m going to make six people. I’m traveling the world. I work for myself. And this is all because of rejection, honestly.” says Evelyn. “Now I’m sitting in my apartment, looking at the beautiful scenery. ‘What the heck?’ The reason I’m sitting here is that it ended perfectly three or four years ago and is trying to make everything perfect. Because I decided. ”