I am not familiar with political oppression and censorship. I have lived in Germany for five years and have experienced repeated harassment at the hands of German authorities as a Palestinian journalist involved in the defense of Palestine.
My husband, the German citizen, and myself, the American citizen, were used to being detained for hours at a time, subjected to invasive interrogation about our trips and searched our belongings thoroughly without clear justification. However, we were shocked to learn that these tactics designed to threaten and deter Palestinians in the ongoing genocide are now being taken up by the US.
I always knew that citizenship only offers limited protection, especially when opposition was involved. But deep down, I still believed that freedom of speech, the right to speak without fear, mean something in my birth country.
I was wrong. The harassment we endured on March 24th when we arrived in the US shattered that illusion. Our Palestinian identity, our political work, our family connections – it all becomes a permanent target not only in Germany, but in the United States today.
Before departure, while we were at the gates of Frankfurt Airport, four agents approached me and identified myself as an officer of the US Department of Homeland Security (DHS). They said they were specifically looking for my husband who had just stepped aside to buy water and juice for our son.
“We just want to make sure your ESTA visa is in place,” one of them said.
They took his passport, flipped through it and took a photo of every page, one of them stayed on the phone and relayed the information. They asked about their visit to Gaza in 2022 after seeing stamps at the Rafa border.
“Where did you go in Gaza?” asked an agent.
“Khan Yunis,” my husband replied.
“Where does your family live now?”
“All over,” he said. “They live in tents across the strips you know, for the sake of war.”
“What did you do while you were there?”
“A family visited,” he replied.
It was clear that we were targeted. I didn’t see any other passengers undergo similar checks either. This meant that either DHS was actively researching passengers before departing for the US, or even more troubling, German authorities would communicate directly with DHS to flag the background and political activity of “suspecting” travelers.
Upon arriving at Newark Airport in New Jersey, my husband and I were separated and interrogated individually. The man asking us did not identify himself. I think they were DHS agents, not border police.
They first asked me about my purpose of the trip and about the trip to Gaza. They wanted to know who I met in Gaza, why I met them, and whether the people I met were affiliated with Hamas. At one point, the officer became intentionally ambiguous and instead of referring to Hamas, he asked if “my family was part of the government in Gaza.”
At one point they asked if I had experienced violence from Israeli soldiers. “No Israeli soldiers were in Gaza in 2022.”
“Did anyone in your family experience violence during this war?”
“Yes,” I replied. “Fifty people were killed.”
“Are there any Hamas supporters?” That was the response I received.
As if political affiliation could justify the burning of families. They must be interrogated first for their loyalty, as if children, elders and mothers had been reduced to numbers before their deaths are recognized.
They knew I was a journalist and requested that I know what the last article I wrote and where it was published. I told them that it was Mondweiss’ work on Mahmoud Khalil’s aidation. They also warned about the dangers of the Trump administration’s policies. This seemed to raise their scrutiny. They requested my email address, my social media account and wrote down my phone number without any explanation.
Then they picked up our phone. When I asked what would happen if I refused, they made it clear that I had no choice. If I do not follow, my phone will still be taken from me and if my husband does not follow him he will be deported.
When they finally returned our electronics, they issued a calm warning to my husband: “You were here without any problems. Stay away from political activity, and everything will go well.”
I was then advised by the legal counsel to not attend the demonstrations, not even myself during our stay. We were watched over our movements, our words, and even our silence, and we could use anything against us.
What happened to us was not random. It was intentional. It was meant to scare and threaten us. Whether in Germany, the US or elsewhere, the goals of these tactics are the same. They doubt the value of every word we have written, raise doubts about every protest we take part in, and hope to engulf all the truth before we reach our lips. They want us to forget the people we have lost.
Fifty people in our family were murdered in the US-backed genocide in Gaza. The souls of 50, each with their own dreams, laughter and love, disappeared under the roar of the bomb and the silence of the world. Our family stories are no different from thousands of other stories. It disappears from the headline, but is a story that lives forever in the minds of survivors.
They expect us to carry this unbearable weight quietly. But we don’t bow.
That’s why they fear us. They fear people who refuse to disappear. Palestinians who dare to speak, organize, and simply put witnesses are marked as dangerous.
Talking about her experience at the airport warned her that her next encounter would be even more severe and punished. But we need to remember: there is nothing we can do to compare this state to what is being done to the people of Gaza. Our passports are paper only. Our mobile phones are metal and glass only. These are things they can confiscate and they can destroy. But they cannot take away our voices, our memories, and our commitment to justice.
On my way out, the officer asked my husband a final question: “What do you think about Hamas? Are they good?”
He replied: “My concern is to fight against the genocide that took the lives and freedom of my family and my people. Other things, I am not interested in answering.”
That should be all our concerns. There is nothing that deflects us from the urgent, undeniable truth. People are being slaughtered and our responsibility is to stand with them.
The views expressed in this article are the authors themselves and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.